At this point, the only way for the Oscars to actually redeem itself from months of disaster is to have Paddington himself walk on stage on Sunday as the night’s surprise host and proceed to give every award to his film, Paddington 2. I assure you, dear reader, the chances of this happening are slim. So instead, we are tasked with tuning into ABC at 8 p.m. ET with the knowledge that there’s a 60 percent chance that the Best Picture trophy goes to some horribly problematic or irredeemably awful film.
Now, that’s a lot of tension to build throughout what promises to be a three-plus hour broadcast! But adding to that tension is the fact that no one really knows what the hell is going to happen on Sunday. Here’s what I can promise you: Christian Bale’s chimney sweep voice! Lady Gaga and Not-Jackson Maine! Some sort of sad montage! A lot of pro-movie positing. Some self-satisfied speeches from Academy executives you don’t know. Probably some very handsome famous dudes in sex harnesses.
So, if this sounds like your idea of fun, here’s how to watch the whole thing unfold:
If you really want to devote your entire Sunday to this, you can start watching a pre-red carpet show on E! at 1 p.m. ET. Then, there’s the regular ABC live red carpet at 5 p.m. The actual 2019 Oscars can be viewed on the old fashioned TeeVee on ABC at 8 p.m. ET. You can also watch on ABC.com or on the ABC app. The ceremony is also available to be viewed on YouTube TV, Sling TV, DirecTV, and PlayStation Vue. Besides that, you’re mostly out of luck, unless you want to wait 12 hours to watch it on Hulu for some reason, or find some Gen Z tween who’s figured out how to stream the whole thing on Twitch or TikTok.